gimmie gimmie chakra treatment

hi.

well, i know that new age treatment is what you would least expect coming from me, but well, what can i say? recently i read (okay, i was told to read it by a friend who knows that "chakrahs" aren't really my bag) a book about cleansing your chakrahs. since i didn't really know what chakrahs were and how to go about cleaning them, i thought i would enlighten you like i enlightened myself by reading and learning this.

from what i gather between the hippie "vibes maaaaaan" rhetoric and "ancient" illustrations in this book, it goes something like this.

there are like, a bunch of chakrahs in your body. from the drawings, they seem to be phonographic (not pornographic, mind you) type protrusions. there are like 8 or something. hell if i know. i was just trying to kill time, much like the time you are killing by reading this right now.

so to cleanse these chakrahs, you should take an experience, breathe in all the good lessons and teachings you got from it and breathe out all the bad things and pain and evil and stuff.

so i will now demostrate this.

example:

amanda at a drone/space rock show.

breathe in the first two minutes of first song. breathe in nice les paul. breathe in cute boy in front row. breathe in fact that i can breathe.

breathe out urge to kill droney musicians after first two minutes of song, breathe out cute boy in front row because he seems to really be into that little keyboard blip that has been looped four million times so he's probably just a stoner, breathe out indie kids with cans of Fosters in their hands, breathe out drone, breathe out pretentiousness, breathe out the fact that you would actually prefer to be at home listening to Winger demos than this.

so there we go. i just cleansed my chakras. next week: how to make organic bongs from jerry garcia signature neckties and a copy of the tibetan book of the dead.

okay so back to what i like to talk about.

i think my family doesn't like me much. they all know i am going greyhound to LA and they all think it is cute. i really don't consider being on a bus for 36 hours with the General Mills deluxe variety assortment pack of mental health issues a thrill. but then again, my grandmother says i better just stay in LA. i asked her why and she says it would, "do me good." considering that when i come home, i will officially have no home and/or job, this might not be a bad plan.

i am putting together a mix tape for the big Greyhound trip. so far, i have "one in a million" "don't go away mad (just go away)" "california" and "welcome to the jungle." as you can see, i am trying to keep with the theme here but i refuse to bow to the pressure to put LA Guns on it. no, johnny christ, i do NOT like LA Guns!

something very noteworthy: i met cheap trick. now all that worrying and theorizing i did over the band and their fans seems to have come full circle. my chakrahs are clean and i didn't leave with a date after the show so maybe my cheap trick karma is no longer what it used to be.

just thought i would use chakrah and karma in one paragraph.

oh and billy bragg, if you are reading this, i wouldn't let you use my bathroom if you were about to piss a block of solid gold. so go back to glastonbury and wallow in your fellow hippie-folk muckiness and stay away from the manics toilets, dear. and i would love to debate you but i suppose you would have to take the harmonica holder out of your mouth and the crusaders for vagabond hobos around the world flag out of your hand first.

stay beautiful you porta potty prince you!

i am planning on adding a feature here documenting my ever-changing hair color. i am even going to put this picture up that proves that me as a child is what happens if ian brown and bobby gillespie ever get it on.

keep checking and keep on keepin on.

 

same PR problem as EST