don't think that just because it is christmas

i am going to be nice



i got a leopard skin coat today. and a "relaxing with mozart and the tranquil ocean waves" cd. great. because i love a)the beach and b)cruising in my car cranking out the wave jams.

my mom got some very dramatic georgia o keefe poppy print scarf that is hideous. if it were a font, it would be desdamona. yes that bad.

i really don't like christmas day. i like the hype but when the actual day rolls around you just end up watching a puppet show featuring "children" with skin tones that resemble the cover of any super furry animals single of your choice. and they are talking about sharing. how cute. is that maple syrup running through my veins? no, just nutella that i had for breakfast.

but i got a cd cleaner. remember the comment about cd being covered in ash and dr pepper? i have spent the better part of this morning rectifing that situation. it is battery powered and looks like the starship enterprise. why does this amuse me so?

my grandmother and mother are in the same room. and my grandmother thinks that holdiays are special occasions on which she does not have to wear her hearing aids. and my mom yells as loud as she can to make conversations pleasant. i just choose to say things very fast and mumbled and then act like i am hard of hearing too when she asks me to repeat them. but when she walked in the door today and said "go get the stuff out of my car amanda!" my dog, whose tumor in her nose ruptures in cold weather, snarted blood on her.

my grandmother also gave me 3 king size boxes of baby wipes. i asked very nicely why this would be seen as a good gift for me. she said that she wanted me to start taking them everywhere i go to wipe off phones, doorknobs and tables that i touch. because germs are lurking everywhere. yeah and so are people who scam senior citzens. you look out for them and i will keep my eye out for germs. deal?

and i still haven't seen the simply having a wonderful christmas time video. what the fuck? what kind of christmas is this without wings hidden in a large exploding christmas present box?

and my mom has been discussing "breakbeat/trip hop/jungle vs indie" with her english dilbert. the really cute part is that his daughter has the same first and last name as my mom. that is how the luve connection was made. and the daughter looks like keith moon did on the cover of who are you. not to be taken away huh?

michael monroe likes cheap trick. do you know what that means? i am going to do him. it is just a fact now. and his favorite hanoi song is mine too. well okay actually don't never leave me is the best one ever. what do you think chrissy?

oh fuck. now we are going to all watch up close and personal for christmas. i hope we crank up the part with the celine dion song so i can sing along. why does she get all the inspirational movie themes? i liked it better when henry mancini was the maker of movie music magic. or duran duran.

i want to watch spinal tap again.

ever notice on quadrophenia how at the party where jimmy puts the record on to listen to my generation, it is the reissue that came out in the 70's with a quick one/who sell out. and when does the movie occur? just continuity but who's counting?

i sometimes wonder what the members of hellafied funk crew do on christmas day.

and my leopracy still hasn't healed.